People love Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders. People love Peaky Blinders Style. He’s a quiet, introverted character, and at the same time, extremely charismatic. While you don’t want to be like Tommy in every way, there are eight habits you can learn from him to instantly command more respect from the people around you. And even though Peaky Blinders is a scripted TV show, all the psychology covered in this article will apply to your actual life.
Habit 1: Peaky Blinders Slow Relaxed Movements
The first thing that you see from Tommy is that he has slow, relaxed movements. When he isn’t physically fighting, he’s rarely in a rush. For example, notice how slowly Tommy moves and how it instantly gives you the sense that he’s above feeling intimidated.
When you move slowly and comfortably in a situation where most people would be stressed, it shows that you don’t feel scared or pressured.
Habit 2: Hold Eye Contact Even
Along with the slow movements, there’s a second body language habit you saw that helps Tommy appear confident. Tommy is comfortable holding eye contact even during conflict.
However, holding eye contact during conflict can escalate the tension if neither of you is willing to break. So the goal isn’t to never break eye contact; it’s just to know what your behavior signals to other people. Hold if you want to show you aren’t intimidated, look down if your priority is to de-escalate, and if you want to diffuse the situation without projecting fear or discomfort, you can hold eye contact for three to five seconds and then break to the side instead of down.
Habit 3: Non-Reactive to Hostility
At a high level, Tommy’s ability to command respect in moments of conflict comes from the fact that he’s not reactive to hostility. Notice how much confidence Tommy can project without even speaking.
Being non-reactive shows you feel confident in your ability to handle whatever is happening. It’s hard not to respect someone who keeps their cool in situations where most people would lose it. Here’s another funny example of just how non-reactive Tommy can be. He researches his enemies.
This is an extreme example, and hopefully, none of us will ever have to deal with trying to keep cool with a gun to our heads. But it’s a good example of how Tommy’s non-reactivity projects confidence under pressure.
Of course, the goal here isn’t to fake that you’re okay while freaking out on the inside. It’s to cultivate a genuine, deep internal confidence.
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Habit 4: Be as big as your Audience
If you want to command attention, specifically in large groups, be as big as your audience. Scale up your hand gestures when you’re speaking to more people.
Habit 5: Show Conviction With Your Words
Moving beyond body language, the next way you can command respect is by focusing on how you speak. The first thing you notice about Tommy when he speaks is that his word choice shows conviction. Specifically, when he talks about his plans for the future, he doesn’t say, “I hope to” or “I want to,” but “I will.”
Habit 6: Show Conviction With Your Tone
Beyond word choice, you can show conviction with just your tone. Many people do the opposite, ending in upward inflection, making statements sound like questions. This gives the impression that you’re unsure of yourself.
So if you want to show conviction with just your tone, end your statements in a downward inflection. Similar to his slow, relaxed body language, Tommy also has a slow-speaking cadence and uses pauses between words to hold attention. The pause is the moment when you’re not speaking, but ironically, it’s the moment you can pull people in. Tommy does this by pausing when you most want to hear what he has to say.
You may worry that speaking slowly and pausing a lot will lead to people cutting you off. The way you can prevent this isn’t by rushing to finish or giving up on your thought halfway through, but by continuing to speak in that same slow-speaking cadence until you’ve at least finished your sentence.
Now there’s one more important thing to cover when talking about why Tommy Shelby commands so much respect. He doesn’t have to shout or raise his voice because either he knows what you desperately want and can give it to you, or he knows what you desperately fear and can prevent it. So his quiet words carry massive weight.
Habit 7: Use Carrot/Stick Motivation
He wields tremendous power over people using carrot-and-stick motivation. Now, we don’t want to be threatening to murder children. So how on earth can you apply this to your own life?
How to apply Carrot/Stick Motivation
Well, let’s say you want a raise or a promotion from work. A lot of people would just go in and say, “Hey, boss, I’ve been working here a long time. I would like a raise. Can I have more money?” Very focused on “I,” not very persuasive. How could you, instead, apply carrot-and-stick thinking? You could say, “Hey, boss, I feel like I can add more value to the company and play at a higher level. What would you need to see from me in the next three months to promote me?” Work with
your boss to create a concrete list, then nail everything on that list. At the same time, go out and get other job offers. In three months, you can show all the value you’ve created for your boss (carrot), and if they back out from the agreement, you can tell them that you want to stay but have other offers that pay more (stick). No murdering of children involved.
While that plan is extremely likely to work, most people don’t have the confidence to execute it. You might think that building that kind of confidence will take you a long time, or maybe you even think it’s impossible for you, that you could never actually build deep internal confidence. But building confidence is way easier than you think. With the right game plan, you can become significantly more confident in just a few weeks.
I hope you enjoyed this article. I appreciate you taking the time to read it, and Please leave your feedback below in the comment box.
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